Whisky ya Rum

Whisky is called the water of life in Ireland. It's called Bhisky in Bihar and passed off as audio CDs on television. Whisky, like a woman, is many things. There are malts, grains, single malts, blends, vatted malts.
Rum, on the other hand, is just one thing. It's designed to make you walk through glass or brick walls. Unlike whisky, it has no lineage, rum was drunk by pirates of the high seas and slave traders in Africa.
Good whisky drinkers have rules. They never mix it with water, ice or any other impure substances. Rum mixes with anything, especially more rum. Good whiskey is to be consumed in fine crystal glasses. Rum can be had straight from the bottle, or from the floor.
You roll your tongue around good whisky, absorb its flavours, and then roll your eyes in ecstasy. After a good rum, you roll out of the gutter, curl yourself into a ball, and have someone roll you down the road.
Whisky is aged in special oaken casks, Rum is aged best in your stomach.